dont I?

I don’t find that people are putting too much pressure on me.

I actually find that a healthy amount of pressure is good.

OK maybe I sometime get very stressed about school, marks and getting in to university. But I know I can do it. I really do. I have confidence in myself. I just need to work harder. That’s what life is, that’s what success is. Tying harder. Working harder. And I know it sounds like a cruel world. But that’s just what life is. You gotta run to succeed. That how I feel. I feel like I am constantly running. Trying to keep up. Not only with school but with friends. With popularity. I want people to like me. Who doesn’t? But its a struggle too. Once I start trying my hardest to succeed in school. They come up with more faults that I have. Be more social. Be more active. ‘Why didn’t you go to that school dance? Everyone else is going to the school dance. All you do is sit around on the computer.’ ‘You’ve gained weight’ ‘Its not healthy to go on a diet’ Then why did you tell me that I need to lose weight!? Your making me self-conscious too! I cant join any teams, I’m not good enough. People already think I’m weird, I don’t want them to think I’m bad at sports too!

I don’t feel like I have a right to complain. People have is way worse. Why should I complain about a little stress? Okay… Its not okay about stress… its about society and how we expect everyone to be perfect. And if their not, they must be doing something wrong. Media. Perfect skinny models. And the thing is, I listen to them. I know its impossible to be that skinny without being anorexic. But is still try... 

Im reading this post and every other sentence I write is contradicting the other one... Maybe its just me. Im conflicted. 

*sigh* Whatever. 

Blind fall

Sometime we have to just let life take its course. We have to keep our promises and just go with it. If there is not long term damage then, why not? Right?

You might not feel comfortable at first, you might just want to run away and hid. That how I feel. But I know its for the better. It will help me, and if it doesn't then whatever. No harm done. I might even get something out of this. Right?

*sigh* I donno... you can't please everyone, sometime not even yourself. But I don't know why I have such a strong feeling in my heart. It weighing me down and I just feel it every second I'm alone. What should I do? Ignore it till it goes away? Hopefully it will go away with time...

I keep on telling myself this is a good opportunity. Maybe deep down I don't believe it myself...

I closed my eyes and took a step. Like I always do... and it always works out. I never fall. But this time I'm not so sure. I do think only time will tell,

I just hope its for the best.

Thanks for listening... I know you must be very confused, good thing no one reads this.

-Memi

Must know, Life Lessons

Just thought I'd Leave you with this beautiful story I read. (sorry I forgot to get the URL of this website, and I can't find it again. But if the creator is reading this, you must know that you are inspirational.)

Important Lesson - "Giving When It Counts"

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save her."

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

---

-Memi

Good person? Just LAZY?

Are you a good person?
Just too lazy to get off your bed and do some real good?
Well to ease your conscience, I've got a solution for you!
A temporary solution that is... But its better than nothing, am I right??

There Is this amazing site that fights for change just by getting people to sign petitions. And its online! Thats right people! You don't need to get off your bed! You don't need to even move! I mean come  on you bored! I know it. Why else would you be reading this blog?? I mean you sir, are far away from home... do you need a map? Because I haven't seen reader in years!!

Okay back on topic... you can help out the world by just supporting and typing your name and place. You could some real amount of help too by donating! Two dollars a week?! You can do that! Just cut down one coffee, It would be healthier too, no doubt about that!

http://www.avaaz.org/en/dolphin_hunt_peru_3/?cTHvFgb

Kill two birds with one stone! Relive your boredom and help out in a small way!
~Memi

Nervous

I hate anxiety. Ugh I feel like I have to throw up.

And Its like anxiety never helps, its just makes things worse! I have written and rewritten this post many times so I'm just gonna leave it at this.