I don’t find that people are putting too much pressure on
me.
I actually find that a healthy amount of pressure is good.
OK maybe I sometime get very stressed about school, marks
and getting in to university. But I know I can do it. I really do. I have
confidence in myself. I just need to work harder. That’s what life is, that’s
what success is. Tying harder. Working harder. And I know it sounds like a
cruel world. But that’s just what life is. You gotta run to succeed. That how I
feel. I feel like I am constantly running. Trying to keep up. Not only with
school but with friends. With popularity. I want people to like me. Who
doesn’t? But its a struggle too. Once I start trying my hardest to succeed in
school. They come up with more faults that I have. Be more social. Be more
active. ‘Why didn’t you go to that school dance? Everyone else is going to the
school dance. All you do is sit around on the computer.’ ‘You’ve gained weight’
‘Its not healthy to go on a diet’ Then why did you tell me that I need to lose
weight!? Your making me self-conscious too! I cant join any teams, I’m not good
enough. People already think I’m weird, I don’t want them to think I’m bad at
sports too!
I don’t feel like I have a right to complain. People have is
way worse. Why should I complain about a little stress? Okay… Its not okay
about stress… its about society and how we expect everyone to be perfect. And
if their not, they must be doing something wrong. Media. Perfect skinny models.
And the thing is, I listen to them. I know its impossible to be that skinny
without being anorexic. But is still try...
Im reading this post and every other sentence I write is contradicting the other one... Maybe its just me. Im conflicted.
*sigh* Whatever.
